We’ve had a tough few days, my youngest and I. She’s basically been coughing since Sunday night and has been off school for three days now. I’ve not slept properly for three nights.

Mid-day yesterday she informed me that she wants to be a Pilot when she grows up. Sure, whatever you want sweetheart.  

By 18.00 I was shattered, exhausted, grumpy, fed up, tired, all of that. As was she, but kids are much tougher and better at coping with illness than parents are. I was standing at the sink doing the dishes, and she says:

“Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a mommy!”

My mind is screaming at me “Noooo!!! Be something brilliant, worthwhile, and make a success of your life.”

Instead I said: “Oh yes … why’s that?”

Theses are her reasons: “Mommy’s can …

  • cut things with a knife …
  • they get to wash the dishes
  • they get to cook on the hot stove ALL the time
  • they get to drive
  • they operate the dishwasher AND the washing machine
  • they feed the cats
  • they always get to go to the shops to do the grocery shopping
  • they can wear make up
  • and they can drink coffee”

At this point I’m thinking to myself … “Please, carry on, make me feel even more worthless than I do right now.”

You’d think she was done, but no … she had one last one.

“And, mommy’s get to take care of EVERYONE. I want to be a mommy when I get big.”

Well played kid. Well played.

We get so caught up in our day to day lives sometimes. I was feeling particularly fed up, useless, and pretty worthless. This life is so much harder than I thought it would be.

We forget, they are watching us all the time. They see every little thing we do. What we do for them does matter, and they do see us, even when we feel invisible.

She made me realise how very important I am to her, and her sister. If this is the best I’ll ever be, and that’s good enough for her, then I’m succeeding at this job.

Two Tiny Hands
Absolutely Prabulous
Diary of an imperfect mum