We’ve all heard the ranting that goes on when someone dares refer to any of us mothers as ‘just a mom’, most of which has been said by ourselves.
This is not that post.
Inspiration For This Post
My eldest had a playdate yesterday with her bff and my youngest was devastated that she couldn’t go with too.
I tried to turn it into a ‘Mommy and Me’ day. We went and chose some new fake flowers for my hallway vase, then I took her out to their favourite ice-cream parlour where she had a ‘Princess waffle’. What’s that you ask? It’s half a waffle decorated with pink ice-cream, pink sweets, pink edible glitter and pink strawberry sauce. It is sickly sweet and a real treat that I only indulge them in occasionally. I even gave her a R5 coin to get a bouncy ball out of the vending machine, something I never do!
After that we went home, I painted her nails (pink) then let her have half an hour on the iPad (those awful YouTube videos of other kids opening Kinder eggs! Why? For the love of all that is holy … why do they love them so much?)
We then made a fruit salad, and I even let loose a little and let her do the washing up (under supervision of course, remember my views on Chores For My Children), while waiting for daddy to come home with the eldest. We then went to a local pizza restaurant for dinner. It was a lovely day actually.
The Punch Line
At some point in the day, I think around the nail painting, she said to me, “Mommy, when I get big can you teach me to be a mommy?”
“Why? I’m sure you will be a great mommy – after you’ve finished school and become independent – you can’t be a mommy before that. And you must have a job, what do you want to be?” I’m pretty sure she was rolling her eyes at the familiar lecture once again.
“Just a mommy,” was her honest and straight-forward reply, no hesitations whatsoever.
I’ve covered this child and her admiration for my ‘job’ before … you can read about that here Aspirations Of My 3 Year Old.
Even though she thinks all the things I do for her and our family are the greatest achievements ever, there is so much more to me as a person than just being their mum. When we’re deep in the trenches with babies and toddlers and nappies, and potty training and push-chairs, and baby bags and bottles and, and, and … it’s very easy for us to get lost, to lose a part of ourselves. I feel lately that I’m finally coming up for air, I’m starting to reclaim a piece of me, and remember who I am. Me. Carly. Not the mommy. Me.
There’s More To Me
Here are a few other facts about Me, and achievements of mine that I am proud of and hope that one day she will also see:
- I am intelligent but never furthered my education after A’Level.
- I struggled with hip pain for nearly 16 years, birthed both my babies naturally and then had both hips replaced within four months of each other at the age of 33.
- I love writing, thankfully this blog is giving me the opportunity to fulfill that love in my own way.
- I love reading – embarrassingly my favourite genre is historical romance!
- I love TV drama shows, especially if Shonda Rhimes is behind them!
- I love wine – surprise surprise, or maybe not.
- I smoked for 5 years then gave it up.
- I was a ‘goodie-goodie’ at school and was even Head Girl, and Captain of the hockey & swimming teams (even with the hip pain).
- I wish I was a better cook.
- I hate guns.
- I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humour with a ‘healthy’ dose of b*tchy thrown in.
- My husband can make me smile no matter how mad at him I am! I hate that.
- My sister is the funniest person I know. I can’t wait for September when I get to see her again. (Sorry to the rest of my family, but you all know it’s true.)
- I love travelling, mostly road trips.
- I have dived in the Red Sea, Sharm el Sheikh, and would love to do it again.
So Much More
So you see, there is so much more to all of us than even our children know, so much more than they see anyway.
What I realised typing this up is that a lot of this (not all) is reflected in my Pinterest Boards. So maybe if you want to know me better, come check out some of the stuff I pin.
Funny enough, my most popular board by far is my Mom Humour Board, it seems to have struck a chord with many, many people. Hope to see you there.
So with all that said, I’d love to know more about you. If you get time to comment, please share something special about you that makes you more than just a mom … or dad.
You’re so much more than just a mom. I’m sure you’re a great one, but I’m also sure you’re a great person too, a great you!
Thanks Cheila, we all are.
My blog allows me to reclaim a bit of me.But truth told I had made a bit of a mess of my life before I came to be a mum so I actually prefer this Mom me to the old me!#StayclassyMama
Yes, they do have a way of giving purpose to our lives. xx
My daughter also wants to be a ‘normal mummy like you, part of me wants her to aspire to other things but it is the most rewarding job in the world. My eldest son talks about being a dad but also a train driver so he obviously wants family and career! #StayClassyMama
I definitely want more for my girls. But as you say, it is the most rewarding job in the world.
This is lovely (and I’m totally loving the idea of princess waffles! My daughter (6), also wants to be a mummy for a job when she grows up. I think it’s adorable that they say things like that :) #ablogginggoodtime
It’s a funny term, isn’t it. We want to do it but we can’t quite fully embrace it…#Stayclassymama
I think you hit the nail on the head. I wander why that is though? Pressure from society? Feminism? Social Media. An interesting debate I’d say!
I love this! Sometimes it’s hard to hang on to the “more” part, especially when they are so little. It’s a good reminder though!
I think we lose part of ourselves when the kids are tiny. There’s no time for us.
Thank goodness that gets better with time!
Great post! ? My son was taking away my powers in a game this morning and I asked what my powers were and he told me my best power was the power of love! Being a mum is amazing. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?
It’s the most rewarding job there is. X
I hear you… I often get a little annoyed when I’m at work and people think I am ‘just a till lady’ or ‘I just work in a shop’… or because Im a Mom that i ‘just have a part time job’ or ‘she must sponge off the government’… there is SO SO much judgement out there… I really feel like wearing a sandwich board that says ‘I studied at Winchester School of Art and have a 2:1 Degree in Textile Design… I am grade 7 at Clarinet and played many solos as part of the local Orchestra… I am running a freelance business from home and me and my partner earn too much to have any help with our son from the government so before you judge take a minute to consider reality may be different!’ PHEW! #blogginggoodtime
Good for you. I guess as long as we remember the truth and acknowledge it to ourselves if for no other reason than to remind ourselve that we are more, then the judgement shouldn’t bother us. Except it does sometimes.
Yes definitely… haha… yes it does sometimes even thought i try and stay strong minded and I know in myself I am more… I have this frustration that other people are so judgemental on outside appearances! But hey… they are not the company I keep! <3
This is a lovely post, it’s so important for us to remember who we are outside of being ‘Mum’. I like the historical romance too, haha! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx
Lovely post, I think kids go through a faze as my sons current response to what you want to be when you are older is ‘a daddy’. I suppose parents are the most important influential people in their little lives. Moms are all encompassing roles but as you said it is not everything you are. I love hearing facts about the people of the blogs I read, we should shout about us and our accomplishments :) Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama x xx
It’s always good to remind yourself of the reasons you’re not just ‘Mummy’! We get so caught up in raising our kids, that it is so easy to forget that we are more than that.
Too easy! We are important too. X
I love this post. You are very right, sometimes we are so busy being the best mums we can be that we forget to be just us too, to remember the us we were before becoming a mum, and the us that deep down inside us we still are. Thank you so much for adding this post to #PostsFromTheHeart and reminding ding us of the importantance of remembering to be ourselves.
It’s so important to remember ourselves, even if we don’t always get to do what that part of us wants. At least we can try keep her alive.
Loved this, posts like these lend themselves well to my nosey nature! I never studied past GCSE’s. I was never academic enough. And we all need to remember that we’re not just mums, we’re also humans, with loves, dislikes, hobbies, interests, passions and we need to focus on that sometimes. Thanks for sharing with #globalblogging
Thanks lovely. X
You’re right, there’s a lot more to us than ‘mum of xxx’ – some of which I’ll be happy for her to find out as she grows, some of it less so lol #TriumphantTales
Haha … so true. Thanks for reading
There is so much more to us than being a mum. We had a whole life prior to being a mum. I’ve recently been tagged in ‘The 20 facts about me’ so after that and reading your post, it’s got me thinking…
We must never forget! X
As well as mumming (and soon grandmumming) I’m an author and a crochet designer, not to mention damn good cook!
Good for you! What genre do you write?
I love the fact that when she grows up she wants to be like you! You can’t get a bigger compliment than that! How utterly lovely! Thanks for linking up to #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again on Tuesday :)
Thanks, it is a compliment, but I want so much more for her! X
oh how adorable is your little lady? I always wanted to be a mum when I was little. Definitely such a compliment that she wants to follow in your footsteps. hopefully as she grows she can learn that she can have everything with a little hard work and a glass of wine at night after the madness hahaha!
Thanks for joining us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow
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