My family have adopted the #JustBeKind motto. Because Kindness Matters! Okay okay, it’s an enforced motto. But that’s because it is something I, the ruler of my family’s moral code, think is a very important topic. And I’m not taking. “No” or “huh? for an answer.
What Happened?
I guess you want to know what ticked me off. Because clearly there was something. Or maybe a few things. But yes, there were something. A few months ago I made a typo on a public forum!
*Gasp*
I know, right?! Me!
Actually I typed 2018 instead of 2019! So, in my defence, it was just an error. I mean, it was December 2018, and I was trying to put an ad out for 2019, but I simply made a mistake. However, what happened next is what really upset me.
Instead of a stranger quietly and privately pointing out the error I had made, he chose to mock me on a public forum. A Facebook group.
I was mortified. I can take constructive criticism … fairly well, but as someone who always did as they were told, and did fairly well, criticism is hard to swallow. MOCKING. IS. MORTIFYING!
How Did I Deal With It?
Well, as a mature adult, I obviously stood up for myself, editing the post, and told the bully boy to ‘jog on’! Right?
Wrong!
I immediately deleted the post and sat in my car with my cheeks flushed red, like an adolescent child who just tripped in front of the whole school!
In a blind humiliated panic, I then removed myself from that group and all other associated groups. It still haunts me. And because I’m still embarrassed about it I won’t rejoin the groups so I have no idea when the bin collection days are, or when the village library is open!
So What’s The Point?
Clearly I have some issues when it comes to standing up for myself. Yes, Yes! My mother’s been trying to ‘grow me a backbone’ for the past 38 years! It’s getting there! Never rush a good job!
But, that said, the whole point of this post is not me, or my self-esteem issues. It’s the fact that some total stranger chose to mock me, in public, instead of politely pointing out my error, and helping me to fix my mistake.
To me, this throws me right back to 4th grade when mean kids would mock me for getting 8/10 on the spelling quiz, or for tripping over the hurdles! p.s. Dumbest sport ever, unless your future aspirations are a burglar or a police officer!
Again … what’s my point!
My point is, Just Be Kind!
No one intentionally makes a typo or spelling mistake! And I promise you, no one tries to fall down at hurdles! I promise you too, that NO ONE plans to wear mismatched socks or shoes for that matter.
The point is, just be kind.
Here are 10 reasons to be kind, and basically it’s about being a decent human being.
If you can’t ignore whatever it is that’s bugging you, then at least give the other person a kind, PRIVATE, head’s up! Because kindness matters. It really does. Not only will being kind spare someone of cruel bullying and mocking, but it will actually make you feel better about yourself as a person than if you went the other way and mocked and belittled that innocent person instead. I promise you, you will. Because at the end of the day, mocking makes you the bully!
So, the next time you think about mocking someone, think twice, and bite your tongue!
Seriously! Just Be Kind!
Kindness costs you nothing! Mocking makes you help yourself feel special, but the person you’re mocking is not enjoying life in that moment. They really are not.
*Donning My Mom Hat*
We try to teach our kids to be kind. But as with everything they learn by example!
The boy who watches his dad make racist remarks about an opposing football team player does the same thing in his next footy match!
The girl who watches their mom laugh at the old lady who tripped over a crack in the pavement will laugh at the girl at school who fell on her way into assembly.
The kid who overhears their parents mock the overweight kid in the fast-food outlet goes on to mock the larger kids in the school lunchroom!
Think Before You Type!
For goodness sake! Think before you speak or type!
And above all, Just Be Kind! It costs nothing! Simply just always be kind. Why not? Kindness matters. Kindness costs nothing! Kindness matters!
This is a good lesson for all of us, especially in the online clinate. Thabk you for writing this!
Thanks Kim. Sometimes we know these things but we don’t put them into action.
So simple, yet so profound and can make such a difference….just be bloody kind!
I want to punch that person in the face for you! I know that’s not kind, but someone who chooses to mock a stranger on an open forum for a simple typo… it’s hard to think kindly of them. I say you join that group again so you know when your trash days are – but you block that person so you can never see what they say and they can’t see what you say on the forum either.
Can you do that?
Well written!
Thank you
Great post! This should be shared in schools for kids to learn from a young age. I know that it’s a parent’s responsibility but I also know that some parents are real dicks. Some of us strive to teach our kids and others not so much.
Mocking IS bullying. Period! I stand with you on sending someone a private message instead of humiliating someone else. My sense is that the bully gets a kick out of it, pointing out mistakes, just to make themself feel better about who they actually are.
Lastly, SM has become a place of norm for tjis sort of bullying. I wonder if said bully will have the balls/vagina to confront someone in person.
You are human and we all make mistakes. The fact that you admit yours and wrote about it openly definitely makes you the bigger person here xx
I struggle to understand how people can be two different personas though. I would never say something to anyone on Social Media that I wouldn’t say to their face. And there is just no need to tear someone down for any reason. I really do try to teach my kids this, and to model it.
I too am massively over sensitive to public criticism and would have also been left with overflowing bins and overdue library books. #itsok
haha … glad it’s not just me then. I’m sure I could be accused of being over-sensitive, but rather that than a bully.
Lovely post Carly, and definitely a lovely message to bring into the new year…
Thanks Nicole. Hope you had a good trip.
Unbelievable, I’d be the same and leave the group, in fact I did do that once and now I’m too chicken to ask to rejoin! Some people are blind to their own bad behaviour and they assume it’s just a big joke putting others down. They’d never admit they are being unkind because they are ‘just having a laugh’ and they blame you saying you are being ‘too sensitive’. Thankfully some people like that can be avoided, (it’s trickier if they are a family member!) hopefully you can rejoin that group and are able to ignore or avoid the one person who is causing the damage.
Thanks Liberty. I really would rather not associate myself with that kind of negativity. There are more than one of them in there. I’ve seen them do it to almost every single post that is put on there. It’s not worth it for my mental health to be honest.
You’re right, it’s very unnecessary behaviour and so also not necessary for you to be subject to it!
Yup, I just can’t understand why someone would mock another person for a spelling/grammar error. Seriously??? I also think that bloggers are very quick to mock another blogger, and in my eyes, that is just wrong… #itsok
I couldn’t agree more.