I have never met a Stay-At-Home-Mom who takes advantage of the perceived perks of being a SAHM, and it’s all down to the dreaded Mom Guilt.
“Like what?” I hear you ask. Don’t we have it all? Aren’t we ‘living the dream’, I mean, life must be so easy for us, right?
Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom brings its own set of Mom Guilt
One of the many ‘crimes’ we get labelled with as stay-at-home-moms is how much free time we must have. Free time to do nothing but catch up on sleep, go for coffee dates, catch up on our favourite day-time TV shows, having our hair and nails done … etc.
Sure! That’s exactly how it works! (*Sarcasm) NOT!
The mom guilt I am referring to is not the guilt you feel for stealing your kids Halloween sweets, or eating a bag of crisps in the cupboard. That’s just basic parenting survival 101. It’s something ALL parents do just to get by!
What’s it really like to be a SAHM?
In all seriousness, how many Stay-At-Home-Moms actually drop their kids at school, go home, crawl back into bed and have a nap?
Not me!
Why? Because of the Mom Guilt!
A few weeks ago I had two nights in a row with sick kids who couldn’t sleep. Add to that the fact that I myself suffer from a touch of insomnia, my inability to switch my brain off before 10 pm, two cats who scratch the doors to go out … and come back in … and go out … and come back in … at least FIVE times a night. I’m sure you can understand why I was shattered, exhausted, a walking mombie (aka mom zombie)!
After dropping the girls at school, I went home and decided that I was going to forgo the housework and other chores, and have a nap. No one needed me for at least the next three hours, so why not sleep? Right?
Reality Check
So I got into bed, I set my alarm (just in case), I lay there, and I really did try. I tried to slow my breathing, to relax my body, to switch off my brain, but NOTHING worked. Not even the numbing exhaustion of motherhood was stronger than the mom guilt!
Instead of drifting off into la-la land, I lay there thinking about the stained shirt I needed to soak, and the fact that the rose bushes needed trimming, I thought about what I was going to cook for dinner that evening and mentally ran through the contents of my pantry cupboard. I thought about my kids, how I was glad they were better and how happy I was that they had been excited to go back to school that morning. I thought about my husband, who was at work, working hard, making money so I can be a SAHM so I can be there for him and the kids without the added stress of a job …
Aaaannd … what was I doing?
I was taking a nap!!
Cue – Mom Guilt and Wife Guilt!
That did it, I was up and out of the bed quicker than my kids are when they can subconsciously tell that mommy has just drifted off to sleep.
Mom guilt! Gets me every time.
I wonder if dad’s feel guilty for random things. Is there even such a thing as dad guilt? I firmly believe men and women are made up emotionally completely differently. Even if they do feel guilty at any moment, it’s so fleeting that they appear to be able to move on from the dad guilt extremely quickly. Moms, on the hand, get that lovely mom guilt feeling linger for a while! A loooong while!
I actually watched my favorite TV show while eating lunch the other day (instead of picking up while eating). What a slacker!
*ahem*
A 3 hour bath…
Ok… That wasn’t recent… But it’s something I did…. Often. B-)
Haha true! how about feeling guilty about getting my kids to do chores when I could have done them myself in the morning? Ridiculous one I know. Or feeling bad when I bring bought cookies when I had the time to make home made ones. Or beating myself up about not doing one single jot of housework at the end of the day (after I had been out running errands for the family, taking one child to the doctor, completing an assignment for an online course, doing the weekly grocery shop and dealing with a crisis with extended family).
I am currently getting a respite from the mummy guilt as I’ve just had a baby and am breast feeding.. ah hem.. all day. Sorry darling, couldn’t cook you dinner, I was feeding the baby alllllll day ?
I don’t have this problem ? I takes naps all the time. Short ones but I take them, otherwise I wouldn’t make it. I started doing this around a year ago and actually did a post about it. I never do more than 20 minutes, in the beginning my alarm would go off before I even fall asleep but now after teaching myself I wake up after 20 minutes and it feels like I slept for two hours. And I don’t feel guilty ?