The day your daughter gets engaged changes everything. You will no doubt be excited to welcome a new member into your family. However, that does not mean that your role as a mother disappears overnight. There is a lot to think about when it is time to plan a wedding, but how involved should you be? What are the responsibilities of the mother of the bride when it comes to her daughter’s wedding?
They say that a mom’s job is never done, which means that your daughter will be looking to you for advice about how to plan the big day. Every mother/daughter relationship is different, but there is a list of duties that the mother of the bride should be thinking about before the wedding. Let’s explore these just in case you are nervous about your responsibilities.
The Engagement Party
Before you can even think about setting a date or arranging a venue, you have something special to celebrate. An engagement is not something that happens every day. Therefore, a party often follows that traditionally takes place at the bride’s parents’ house.
The main reason for this is that everyone who has ever known the bride will want to come. This means that your daughter will want to be invited, but so too will the people close to you who watched her grow up. It doesn’t have to be a big party, and you can always book another venue if you want. However, it is usually the bride’s mom’s job to get the ball rolling for an engagement party.
While the maid of honour is responsible for planning the bride’s bachelorette party, it isn’t uncommon for the mother to get involved. There is a lot of work that goes into an event like this, so your experience will come in handy.
For example, you are far more likely to know where to arrange the best bachelorette invitations. In fact, Greenvelope is a great choice for this aspect if you want your invites to have a more professional feel. Make sure you are there to help wherever possible but try to remember that you are not the one in charge.
There will always be instances when the planned bachelorette party is raunchier than you would like. These types of activities are usually aimed at a younger crowd, after all. That doesn’t mean that you have to miss out on all the pre-wedding activities, however.
A bridal shower is a perfect opportunity for you and some of the older members of the bridal party to celebrate the bride in their own environment. Like with the engagement party, you can keep things low-key. So long as you keep the bride-to-be as the centre of attention, it doesn’t matter what you plan.
Hostess at the Wedding
After months of planning, it is time to head to the venue for the big day. Everyone will have their roles, but all weddings begin with the same problem. The bride and groom have brought together the people they care about the most, but not everyone knows one another. This can lead to an awkward start to the day; however, this is where it is your time to shine.
Arguably, one of the most important responsibilities of the mother of the bride, is to act as the hostess at the wedding. It is traditional for the mother of the bride to act as the hostess, the person to greet everyone as they arrive. Welcoming everyone like this gives you the chance to pair people up with conversation starters so that the atmosphere is buzzing by the time the ceremony starts. The happy couple does have a lot on their plate, after all, so make sure you are circling the room and keeping people’s spirits up so they don’t have to.
Giving Away The Bride
Times change, and with that so do the traditions we have always clung to. For the longest time, it has always been the father of the bride who walks the bride down the aisle. This was a symbol of the old patriarchy. One man hands his daughter over to another as a sign of respect. However, society doesn’t really act that way anymore.
With many people trying to shake off this old tradition, many daughters ask both their parents to walk them down the aisle at the same time. It is a nice gesture for modern times, so don’t be surprised if you are asked to walk down the aisle as well.
A common part of the wedding ceremony is giving a reading. Most weddings will require two passages to be read, and it is a role given to the moms of both the bride and groom. This was the norm back when it was the father’s responsibility to give the bride away, so this aspect of the ceremony has become more relaxed. However, you may be asked to do a reading, so try and prepare your public speaking voice for the big day.
No two weddings are the same, so don’t be shocked if your daughter’s big day isn’t like this at all. Just remember that you will be needed for support, and it will all go as planned.