So. Tired.

This is a post about how just when you think you’re finally winning at parenting your kids remind you that they do and always will, have the upper hand. It looks at how they use their very best methods to ‘clip your wings’ and bring you ‘back down to earth’!

We went up to Pretoria yesterday morning, and after doing a few family visits, we took the kids to Bounce, one of the new trampoline parks that have recently opened up in Gauteng. Look out for my review later in the week. It really was a great outing for the kids.

After that we stayed over with friends and had a lovely dinner and few glasses of wine.

This morning all the other adults left to go to work and I waited out the commuter traffic before starting the long solo journey home with the kids (4 hours of driving with two kids, alone).

As soon as I started trying to get the kids dressed … is when the fight started. (Check out the link for jokes in this theme). Please don’t carry on reading if swearing and ranting will offend you.

In a moment of madness (obviously) I had mistakenly packed only long tights for the kids, instead of their preferred 3/4 length tights, I mean ‘what a b*tch’ right?

My eldest threw a tantrum for an hour over this. Or maybe it’s just my face that upset her? She proclaimed that she didn’t want to wear the long tights because:

1. It’s still summer
2. They have lines in them (wrinkles)
3. They look ridiculous
4. Everyone will laugh at her

I have no words.

After watching this ‘sh*t show’ my youngest decided to join in on the act by trying to throw a tantrum because she didn’t like the t-shirts I’d packed for her – a choice of 3!

I just can not grasp why the f*ck they do this! Seriously.

Eventually I gave up, went and made myself a coffee and ignored their ridiculous crying and carrying on and actually just left them to it. Thanks goodness I had the luxury of time on my side and I thought this would be better. I’d already exhausted all the nice, kind, patient and even the white lies that I had in my arsenal of dealing with unrealistic tantrums.

If my husband had been standing there, I’d have tagged him in with an “I’m out, you’re up”, but he wasn’t. He’d gone off to his stressful job, and I was now facing mine! Swapsies?

Eventually after I ignored them for 45 minutes they got dressed.

It then took 25 minutes to convince them to actually get IN the car! Why?

Finally they are in the car when suddenly my eldest remembered her list of grievances and started her crying and wailing again! She cried all the way from their to my aunt’s house – an hour!

In case you were wondering – she was still crying. At some point I offered to turn myself in to the next police officer I saw because clearly I’m a terrible mother for packing long tights instead of short – this just produced more wailing!

We collected my aunt (who had never seen anything like this in her life – never having had kids) and took her to the shopping centre so she could go to the bank. She gladly went ahead by herself while I tried to persuade them to get OUT of the car!

By the time we got to the shopping centre my blood pressure must have been sky-high! I couldn’t take it anymore, and I knew I would be trapped in a vehicle with her for the journey home – 3 hours! 3 hours where I would have to drive on the highway and actually concentrate to keep us all alive!

So I caved. I went and bought her the cheapest pair of ‘short-tights’ I could find which were on sale! BECAUSE IT IS NEARLY WINTER HERE!

She approved of them before I bought them, and we went straight to the shopping centre toilets where she put them on and was happy!

THEY WERE 1 INCH SHORTER! I SHIT YOU NOT!

It must be my face.

Besides the fact that I was happy that she was happy and therefore I didn’t have to hear her cry the entire 3 hour drive home from there, I hated the part of me that gave in to her! At nearly 6 years old she still occasionally behaves like this!

I just can’t. I’m tired.

Roll on Saturday when granny arrives because I need a break from irrational demanding children!