I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t care that the rules are different for parents, for teenagers and for kids. Because they are!
The rules ARE different!
Like what? Well for starters, I am sick of hearing the whole ‘lead by example’ phrase being used as a reason to put adults and children on a level playing field. We are not on a level playing field. I am an adult. I have paid my dues. They are children. They have not paid their dues!
So what do I mean exactly when I say that the rules are different for adults and kids?
Well for one, swearing!
It is not okay for my girls to swear. I don’t even let them retell a story about someone who swore.
On the other hand, I don’t want to hear my 15-year-old step-daughter swear in front of me, which she doesn’t. But, I am not naive enough to believe that she doesn’t.
I swear.
I’m not a trashy mouth ‘sweary Mary’, punctuating all my sentences with a poorly placed profanity … but I do swear. I swear when because of road rage, or stubbing my toe, or having to search the house for the damn hair brush! I definitely swear when I’ve heard them call me 300 times in the space of five minutes because one of them looked at the other and she doesn’t want her to. Yes, then I do respond under my breath with a “for fucksakes”.
And my husband? Well, he works in construction … he’s a respectable man in a family of females, but he’s human.
The rule of ‘no swearing’ applies differently to the different members of my family.
Bed Time!
No, the girls may not stay up until 10.00pm. They need to be in bed by 20.00pm the latest. I am big on routine and I won’t apologise for that. It’s my life too and it’s what is best for them.
Neither should the teenager for that matter, but luckily she is fairly responsible when it comes to bedtimes on school nights.
My husband can barely stay up past 21.00 so he doesn’t have a bedtime that I need to worry about.
Me? I don’t even attempt going to bed until after 22.30. Otherwise I just lie there, contemplating life, imagining scenarios that are only serve the purpose of increasing my anxiety!
Snacking!
I am a grown ass woman! I will snack when I want to snack. I also know better than to snack an hour before bedtime.
My kids do not!
So yes, there are different rules for me and for them.
There is also a different rule for my husband, but he doesn’t listen to the rules so I’m not going to bother.
Drinking Juice Before Bed
Really?
No child is ever as thirsty as the one whose mother just announced, “It’s bedtime!”
The rule is there for a reason. It’s a simple reason really. The reason is that Mommy doesn’t want to help you get up every five fricken minutes throughout the night!
Now if I want to drink wine juice before bed, then I shall because when I get up to go to the loo it’s just me that I wake up, not the whole house!
The Rules Apply
So yes, there are different rules for different members of my family. I won’t apologise for that. I’ve earned it. And as a mom of two little girls, I’m just trying to make sure that they grow up as decent, healthy, humans, whilst simultaneously attempting to maintain my own sanity. It’s called parenting.
What do you think about that?
Mom Of Two Little Girls
I agree with you wholeheartedly .
Love this!!…. “for fucksakes” :)…. Yup. Like 1000 times a day :)
I agree with you 100% on this!
It’s that way in our house too. As soon as I say “It’s bedtime” everyone all of a sudden has to get out of bed and go drink something.
Totally agree!!
Loved this! You’ve definitely earned it ;-)
Oh I feel so much better about using the F word, like, a billion times a day now! It’s therapy. Plus the wine/juice before bed – them da rules. Great post. #itsok
Oh this is so so true! I actually found myself eating chocolate in the larder yesterday to avoid having a conversation with my seven year old along these lines yesterday!! Brilliant post Carly #ItsOK xx
Completely agree with all of this…especially the bedtime rule. If the kids weren’t in bed and asleep by 7.30pm I’d lose it, I need those few hours without constant demands of food and drinks.
#itsok
I so agree with this! Especially the snacking one, my kids don’t understand the concept of me eating dinner a lot later than them, therefore crisps / biscuits / cake is acceptable (any time of the day) #itsok
Yeah this is a hard one! We are already finding we need different rules for our 5 year old than we do for our 2 year old. And I totally agree with the snacking rule!
I think a lot of it is to do with how much they can comprehend and how much we can hold them to account for their actions. But it’s not easy. Or fun.
We definitely have some ‘rules’ in this household that need to be revised, like it’s ok for the grownups ot tidy up after the kids but not visa versa?? Or it’s ok for the kids to lounge around on their screens while we slave away in the kitchen? No I don’t think so. The biggest gripe we get from them is ‘it’s not fair!’ when mummy and daddy have one or two priviledges which they can’t have and yet they never see the multitude of concessions we make for them! Sorry for the rant – I’m having a bad day. #itsok
Hope the whole sock drama got resolved. My husband told me the other day that I need to accept that kids are selfish. I can’t.
Haha that reminds me of the time my husband told me that I need to realise my kids are immature because they’re kids! Sock drama seems to be slowly resolving, and even more, he cooked dinner last night. ?
Agree Carly! The rules are set for a reason, and (most times) it’s for our kids’ benefit (ok, sometimes it’s for ours as well but as you said we’ve paid our dues!!!). Besides, when we adults ‘break’ rules, there’s a logical reason why, and we realise the consequences. Kids don’t. Thanks for sharing with #itsok
That’s so true about understanding the consequences. They just don’t get it.