My kids are sick, mainly the older one, but both of them. Their symptoms have ranged from a persistent cough lasting for the past three weeks, to stomach ache, raging fevers of almost 40 degrees the past two nights in a row, snot flying runny noses (that’s being polite), weeping eyes, you name it, they have it! So I think I need to share this informative post on how to survive your sick kids.

Did I mention I’m solo parenting at the moment too. Hubby is away for work.

Despite Monday night’s frustrated, sarcastic instagram post (which got a lot of likes – you guys are hard-core) …

https://www.instagram.com/p/BVkYEETBDYC/?taken-by=momoftwolittlegirls&hl=en

… I have been very worried about them, my eldest in particular. Her temperature will just not stay down, she’s got chills and sweats and is very miserable, bless her.

Did I mention the cat is sick too – random vomiting. The sound of a cat vomiting in the house will make you jump up quicker than your own child will! *vomit*

Aside from the worry over her actually being so sick, I have had other thoughts to consider whilst solo parenting the two of them.

What you think about when your kids are sick:

I have run out of paracetamol, so if the ibuprofen doesn’t bring her temperature down, will I survive the cool vinegar bath? Her bath that is, not mine. She’s sure to throw a half hallucinated, exhausted tantrum at being forced into a cold bath in the middle of the night in winter (as would I), and I’m just not sure I would survive that.

  • If I have to take her to the ER because of the high temperature, do I call a friend (who would have to leave her family) to come wait at mine in the middle of the night with my younger child, or do I take said younger child with me? (No, I have no family around … just in case you were wondering.)
  • If the cat vomits one more time, will he actually survive? How do I avoid stepping in it when I’m running back and forth to the sick children in the dark?

Morbid thoughts I know. Slightly irrational. And for the record, no, I wasn’t drunk – just sleep deprived.

The Lightbulb Moment

This morning I realised that the thoughts parents have when their children are sick and suffering, are really their coping strategy or defense mechanism.

I mean, think about it. We can’t run away. We can’t pretend it’s not there. We can’t swipe left, unfollow or delete. We have to deal with it.

Maintaining a sense of humour might be our only link to sanity in the dark hours surrounding the care of our miserable sick children.

Unfortunately, I have a rather dry, sarcastic and unsympathetic sense of humour. With that in mind …

Here are my top tips on “How to survive your sick kids!”

You need to get some tissues

Tissues, because of all the mucus … let that sink in … ALL The Mucus. If you don’t have tissues handy all over the place, they will use whatever is near: their sleeves, the sofa cushions, the cat, their hand, your scarf … you! Get the tissues! Put them everywhere! It’s Rule 1 in how to survive your sick kids really!

Get control of yourself!

The ability to control previously uncontrollable retching due to vomit and/or the sounds of someone attempting to sniff their leaking brain back up their nose, which will usually result in them choking themselves on it – if you don’t have the stomach for it, find someone who can, or get an extra vomit bucket and probably some more tissues – for you this time. Seriously, the term ‘choking yourself’ is enough to give you a full idea of the horrendousness of the sound!

ALL the medication from the pharmacy

All of it, because I can guarantee you, the one thing you need is the one thing you won’t have in your home-stash-medicine-chest (which is roughly the size of a school locker)!

You will of course only realise this at 10pm.

Unlimited high-speed internet access!

If it’s slow this will result in a significantly high level of whining.

If you don’t have it, you will have to come up with something else. Sorry,  I can’t help you. I’m all entertainer’d out! Everything else is boring … everything!

Boring!

Patience

Because of the whining … oh the whining. It’s almost as bad as man flu! Everything is whined at you. They lose the ability to talk unless it’s a whine.

p.s. Get yourself some wine!

More Patience!

Other than the ability to talk, they also lose the ability to do anything themselves.

  • Getting dressed – no.
  • Getting juice – forget it.
  • Finding the TV remote – impossible.

It. Is. Exhausting.

That saying, ‘the patience of a saint’ … should be ‘the patience of a mother of a sick child’.

Those are my top tips for how to survive your sick kids.

I found this great quote on Pinterest – I’m not advocating for this, but I can see why it might appeal.

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Sadly, at the time of publishing, she isn’t any better. Hopefully the antibiotics kick in soon. Despite my previously mentioned sarcastic sense of humour, I do love my kids and would give anything for them to just be well again.


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