Yes, that’s right. I am a 35 year old mother of two children aged 3 (nearly 4) and 5 (nearly 6), and I just threw a tantrum. I have finally lost it … my sanity that is.
There is no simple explanation, except for the fact that I am sick and tired of my children’s unreasonable behaviour sh*t!
Groundhog Day!
We have the same fight every day. Clothes.
They only like to wear the following:
- Short tights (the ones that come up to just below their knees), and
- Vest T-shirts – NO SLEEVES!
- Shoes: only flip-flops or sandals.
- Pyjamas – only nighties.
I do try …
I decided a while ago to just let them be – it’s not necessary to argue every single day.
My regular blog readers will remember I have written about my struggles with them many times:
- Top 5 offensive things to say to my daughters, and the results;
- Reasons Why I’m A Bad Mom – Apparently;
- When Your Kids Hurt Your Feelings;
- Why I’m Glad We Left The UK
- So. Tired.
My Saving Grace; it all ends some time.
Thank goodness we live in Africa where it is warm more than it is cold, but there is no putting it off anymore, winter is coming.
I have been trying to mentally prepare them by gently explaining the seasons to them. The fact that warm clothes are there to keep you warm and prevent you from getting sick. They are not there to irritate you to the point of complete and utter melt-down! And no, wearing a jumper does not keep your feet warm.
Whoop … there it is!
We are two weeks into the new school term and right on time, one of them is sick! Thanks preschool germs!
It’s the youngest this time, although the eldest is complaining of a sore throat so maybe both by tomorrow … lucky me!
Considering the circumstances, do you think I can get them to wear warm pyjamas, or warm clothes? Not AF!
I’m not asking for a full on thermal restrictive outfit! I’m asking for a pair of long tights (down to their ankles) and a long sleeve t-shirt with non-slip socks or slippers on whilst in the house.
But noooo!
The 4 year old only wants to wear the stained vest she had on yesterday and the short tights with the holes in them! No shoes!
So I lost it! I lost my shit!
With one fell sweep of my arm I cleared out her whole shelf of clothes onto the floor. I stomped to the kitchen, grabbed a dustbin bag and started filling it. The only things I left in her cupboard are those few items she deems acceptable:
- a Barbie dress that’s too small,
- 2 pairs of stained short-tights that have holes in them,
- a vest T-shirt that is faded and stretched,
- I think I left out one nightie
- and two pairs of flip-flops.
Once I got started I couldn’t stop myself. I ended up doing the same for my eldest.
By the time I was done I had gotten rid of 90% of their shoes, jumpers, swimming costumes … just about all of it!
Was it a Mom Win?
No, I am not going to win any ‘mother of the year’ awards. I will gladly present that award to the person who can make/convince them to wear appropriate clothing for the next five months, so long as I don’t have to fight with them. I am absolutely fed up!
Any takers? I’ll even throw in my house, car, and pets … you can have it all except for my wine stash – that’s for me! Anyone?
To top it off, I texted my husband to inform him that as soon as he gets home from wherever he is I will be leaving the house on my own, and not returning until I want to. I don’t even have anywhere to go, but I’ll be going.
Major Parenting Fail today, but I am defeated.
I am done.
Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be this hard?
Update: Daddy came home and everything was better … for now.
Life Update:
Less than two years later we moved back to the UK. The children still give me a hard time when it comes to dressing warmly and appropriately.
I still lose my shit occasionally, and I still drink wine. Parenting does not get easier.
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About the Author: Carly Crawford
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Sorry Carly so wish I was there to help you. X
Wish I was there to drink with her ?
Me too!
Hahaha it’s so nice to see that I am not alone! I too am done with fighting the same fights with the kids ??
What I do now is let them go to bed in their singlet for an 8 degree night and then just as I am about to go to bed I dress them in their winter pjs ??
Haha suckers!
Mine wake up in the middle of the night and change back into their summer clothes! ?
We did tell you, but you didn’t want to know………your babies would never do that!
Thanks for the support. Just what every mother wants to hear.
Hectic! I’d like to know what your kids’ reactions were. Damn – high 5 to you!
One cried the other ignored it cos Tinkerbell was on. Husband came home and got them to wear what I wanted just by raising his voice to a monotone firm voice! Not even shouting! Not even threatening! So frustrating!
It happens to the best of us. Try again tomorrow. :)
Thanks. That’s the plan, both in terms of warm clothing and being a better mother.
Some days just everything goes wrong, one thing after another. Then Chris comes home and the kids turn into little angels and I look like an idiot for sobbing in the kitchen #globalblogging
So glad it’s not just me.
We have to remind ourselves that we are not only parents but we are also HUMAN, and while typically PERFECT :), we do have our off days. Don’t beat yourself up over this. It happens to the best of us. Wait until their teens (my boys are 14 and 16). :)
Oops, their should be they’re. See what I mean? ;)
Thanks. It was a bad day, not a bad year. Although it’s only the beginning of winter so check back with me if I survived come September? ?
LOL!
You JUST lost it? Girl you made it much farther than i did. Thanks for linking up to #globalblogging.
Haha … I wasn’t counting last winter. ??
Carls – Any comment from your Mom about your angelic listening skills….. ?
If that is dangerous territory I found this.
I tend to get annoyed with my kids faster than others and am trying to control reaction times….
https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/calm-parenting-how-to-get-control-when-your-child-is-making-you-angry/
Excerpt – “When you try to manage your child’s behavior instead of your own anxiety, what you’re saying is, ‘I’m out of control. I need you to change so that I can feel better.”
A great quote I keep close:
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor Frankl
Thanks Gareth. There is some history here and it was one bad day. I think my memory of the ‘trauma’ from last year is causing me to over-react at the moment. I need to calm down.
That’s a great quote though. I will definitely read that article. I need all the help and positivity at the moment. I know they are just kids.
Thanks Gareth. There is some history here and it was one bad day. I think my memory of the ‘trauma’ from last year is causing me to over-react at the moment. I need to calm down.
That’s a great quote though. I will definitely read that article. I need all the help and positivity at the moment. I know they are just kids.
p.s. – Even mom says I was an angel as a child, Sarah was the problem. I guess I got her share of Karma. lol
This is exactly how I felt yesterday, and mine isn’t even old enough to say no yet! I hope you are feeling better today and that you managed to get some time to yourself. I actually recorded a Vlog about how I felt yesterday and will be posting it soon if you fancy watching x #bloggerclubUK
Thanks so much. This was a couple of days ago now, and things have got much better. I will certainly look out for your vlog. Big Hugs
Oh my word I’ve been there! I’ve often said that I behave more like an adolescent some days than my teenagers – what even is that about?! Oh and I love how when daddy comes home it is all ok – some days you just need that support! You do make me smile though – can just picture your children’s state of dress! #BloggerClubUK
Haha … its embarrassing. I need to throw some of it away. Then no matter how they cry and scream it’s actually gone!
You know what stands out the most for me in this post? The wanting to leave the house but having nowhere to go! How much does that SUCK! That’s me every time I try to take some ‘me time’ to relax – what on earth do I do with myself! Thanks for linking to #GlobalBlogging
Haha … I have mulled this over since then. Next time I’m going to find a nice coffee shop and sit on my own in peace & quiet and have a creamy cappuccino while watching the world go past until I’m bored, then I might go home. At least with a formulated plan I don’t have to feel pathetic. Lol
Love this honest post ! You know ,my girl is 12 ( nearly 13) and I’ve actually given up . Wear what you want . It’s freezing outside but yes , go ahead . Wear those mini shorts that your bum’s hanging out of .
Hard isn’t it ? But the worst of it , she always looks better than anything I’d put her in … !
Oh no! So its not something they grow out of. Any chance I might catch a break between 6 and 12? Maybe six years on, six years off … I could maybe live with that. Maybe. lol
[…] so have far more ‘free’ time than she does, even though if you’ve been reading my blog this week you’ll know I’ve had a shocker of a week with the […]
Oops , forgot ! #bloggerclubuk
Great post x
Love your honesty – I think we can all honestly say we have had moments like this!
Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub – tomorrow is a new day ;-)
I’m not proud of that day but I do commit to being honest about ALL aspects of motherhood that I face.
Happy to announce that they both wear long tights and trainers with socks to school these days. Progress.
Yor hectic
[…] just not true. I’m not that mom. If you’ve read some of my posts you will know that I have really struggled over the past few years. When they were babies I coped fine, they ate, they slept, they were […]
Ha, how do they cope with winter over here these days? They must be freezing! Love your tantrum, I have them too. I’ve thrown Thomas’s dinosaurs in the bin before. (Then had to get them back out again…) #ItsOK
We’ve all been there as mums, haven’t we? When the fuse just goes off and we have a meltdown that can put any toddler tantrum to shame… parenting is tough and exhausting and challenging and for the most part, we don’t get respect or acknowledgment, so hell yes #itsok to let the steam out sometimes!
Oh Carly you are right – we do live parallel lives. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have rang my husband about a half hour before he was due to come home to inform him that I would be leaving the house as soon as he gets in. And the same, with no particular place to go. For this winter I have joined the gym so now when the dark evenings kick in and we are all bouncing off the walls and the arguments start, I will have somewhere to go. Although driving to a cafe and just sitting there sipping on a cappuccino is also very enticing! I love your honesty #itsok