Today’s post is a little reminder to myself really, about how important it is to allow our children to see us stand up for them, and to stand up for things that are important.
We spend so much time shielding our kids from the bad things in life. I mean let’s be honest, how many of us switch channels when the news report cuts to the aftermath of a bombing in the Middle East? Me! I do that.
I don’t do it because I don’t care, I do it because I don’t believe my six-year-old needs to see some child with his leg blown off screaming for his parents. My mommy heart struggles with that one. I don’t think she needs to see that right now. That’s my personal opinion for now, and the position I’m taking on that, for now.
Bullying
My post from last week was about my eldest daughter dealing with a bullying issue. Actually, I’m going to rephrase that. We dealt with it, my husband and I dealt with it together.
For each step in the process of dealing with the issue I allowed the girls to hear me. I allowed them to be with me or to actually witness me dealing with it.
- I hope that by hearing me talk to the moms involved that they know I have their back.
- I hope that by standing with me whilst I speak to the teacher, they (both of them, the youngest was there too even though it wasn’t about her) know that I will deal with the issue in a calm and rational manner.
- I hope that by me telling them I had been to see the headmaster and then the headmaster taking the time to speak to their class shows them that I followed through, and so did the school.
So what is my point?
I have come to realize that as they are getting older, there are some situations where it is important for them to see me taking a stand on certain issues. Issues such as bullying, such as protecting defenseless animals, such as treating everyone equally, such as conservation.
One of the most important things that I personally took away from the experience was that I am glad my girls got the chance to see me standing up for them, because …
- They have learnt that I will always stand up for them, because I did.
- They have learnt that I will take them seriously, because I did.
- They have learnt to be brave, because I was.
- They have learnt to trust me, because I trust them.
- They have learnt the importance of following through, because we did.
Stand Up For Them
I am not a perfect mom. I’m not even sure that I’m doing it right half the time, but I know that I did the right thing in allowing my daughters to see me standing up for them.
I will always have their back and I will always help them and support them, no matter what, even if they make a mistake. That’s what my mother did for me and it’s what I will do for them. Even when they are wrong, I will always listen, I will always believe them, and I will always have their back!
#ablogginggoodtime
Love this blog post .
Thank you x
Beautifully written. Well done
So true and great advice.
I completely agree. I am stronger for my daughter than for myself.
I agree 100% that it is important for children to see you trust them and therefore they will begin to trust you. Your daughter coming to you and you reacting rationally and standing up for her shows her that in the future; maybe when she’s older. If a situation arises that might be worse, she won’t be afraid to come to you in and confide in you. I love that you also included you husband. It’s important for kids to see that both parents for their back. Great job!
Great post. It is so important to give positive role models to our children and to show them how to behave in situations. If they find themselves in difficulty hopefully they will feel confident to imitate your approach and choose to talk to find a solution. Well done. #ablogginggoodtime
Here, here! Couldn’t agree more. My girls are much older and I am now at a point of letting them see if I am sad or angry so that they learn that emotions are real and ok and it’s how we manage them that’s the key issue #ablogginggoodtime x
That’s so true. I love that. Thanks.
Agree 100% and I do spend a lot of time standing up for (advocating for) my son. I think you are right they Need to see you do
It too! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?
Nice post. Personally I always wonder what’s the balance between standing up for my children and allowing them to face difficult situations by themselves. It’s no science and I’m sure I make a lot of mistakes. If you haven’t read it, I strongly recommend the book Brave parenting, helped me finding a better balance with that.
Thanks. I will look out for it.
our daughter is six also, and even though she has always been watching and learning from us, I feel that burden much heavier lately. It seems that she is really starting to develop her personality now and becoming more aware of what’s going on around her #blogginggoodtime
Yes! Matthew is having an issue at school and I am pursuing it, they need to see us fighting for truth and what is right #ablogginggoodtime
Rock on! I loved this article. It’s especially important for girls to see their parents take a stand on the issues that matter. I read your article right on time because my son was bullied today and I had told him that I will deal with it myself but tomorrow I’ll make sure they stand there and watch. Keep up the good work.
I love this post! I learned a lot.
Thanks so much. I hope it helped.
This is a great post. Such a difficult issue, but so important to instil pride and confidence in your children. If they don’t know you stand up to bullies, how can we expect them to. #stayclassymama
Good post. I have to say with teens, this is true too. Usually in different ways, but you will have small wins (or gold star parenting) when you say or do the ‘right thing’….and those moments are worth everything! #Stayclassymama
This in my opinion makes you a good mum – one who cares and one who is keen on values and that will mean you are a good enough mum which is all we can aim for
Thank you. It was a tough week but I know I did the right thing.
It’s great that you will stand up for them #TriumphantTales
I LOVE THIS!!! Letting your little ladies know that you always have their back and letting them see you in action is amazing. Bravo for letting your inner lionness come out and fight for your girls happiness. You’ve given me such a warmth inside this morning by reading this!
Thank you so much for sharing this brilliant post with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow!
Awww, what a lovely comment. Thanks so much. I’m glad you liked it. Lots of blog love xx
This is lovely. I agree this is so important for our children and they learn so much #TriumphantTales