When you are young and in love, and the relevant important body asks you how you want to be married, your answer is usually something stupid like “In Church” or “In a Garden” or “On the beach”.

What he is actually asking is “Do you want to be married IN Community of Property, or OUT of Community of Property”. When the question is repeated providing further clarification, most young and in love people will opt for IN, because you love each other so much that what’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine and we share everything, blah blah blah.

For those of you who may not be aware, let me shed some light on what ‘Married IN Community of Property’ actually means.

  1. You are liable for any debt that your spouse racks up … including car finance, mortgage, loan, credit cards etc.
  2. It also means that any and all belongings are jointly owned.

What it DOESN’T mean though is that you are allowed to request information from the organisation providing your spouse with the credit facility. Don’t even bother picking up the phone, you are only wasting your airtime, breath and sanity! Just don’t.

My husband works ALL day. ALL DAY. He doesn’t get time to sit and sort out the family stuff during working hours, but as the ‘breadwinner’ it’s all in HIS name and we (wife and kids) are his dependents. Therefore, I am the one who manages the paperwork for us from ensuring our Passports are current, to the car finance, to the medical aid, to the household and life insurance, EVERYTHING, with his blessing of course.

Now you’d imagine that as we are married IN COP, I’d be legally allowed to request something as simple as a statement on the car finance company, but NOOOOO … they won’t even speak to me! He has to now take time out to call them to give them permission to SPEAK to me! I don’t even want it sent to me, I want it emailed to HIM! NOOOO … it drives me frickin insane! I bet if he was suddenly broke and missed a payment they’d be screaming for me to pay up but they won’t even send me a piece of paper!

It’s not only them though! The Insurance companies (Car, house, life, pet … you name it, we have it all) are the same. They will actually put me on hold AFTER I have gone through ALL the security questions, and call him to get permission to speak to me, and then they will proceed with my query! I shit you not!

So I ask you, why bother with IN COP or OUT of COP. WHY?!