Today is a write-off, today I suck at parenting. Due to my inability to switch my brain off last night, I went to sleep late. I watched a double bill of Madam Secretary (love Tea Leoni), and then the end of the movie Wedding Ringer. It was around midnight when exhaustion finally took over. So today, I suck at parenting.
And that was just the beginning.
At some point both the girls ended up in our bed at some stage during the night. So not only was it a restless night when I did get to sleep, but I got repeatedly whacked in the face by the eldest child who professes to have ‘bad dreams’ and so uses that as her excuse to get in the bed.
This was shortly followed by the small one who made her way through at some godforsaken hour! Well, that was it! She has got to be the worst at sharing a bed! She has this knack of turning sideways so she will burrow her head into the back of one of us, and kick the other in the head, at the same time! Personally, I choose the head in my back, as there are two feet and you are never prepared for one foot in the mouth and the other in the stomach! Bed hopping as a parent has a whole different meaning than when you’re a young adult!
And then there are the cats!
The way our house is designed, it is not possible for them to get in and out the house via a window. Okay, it’s not just the house, it’s also the size of the one cat – he is not capable of jumping high enough or balancing at all due to the size of his stomach. He is massive! And so we have to open the door to let them in or out.
When they are inside they tag-team me by alternating either crying next to the bed (the fat one) and springing up onto the bed into my face like a jack-rabbit (the small one) until I eventually get up and let them out.
Some indeterminate time later, they will scratch their claws on the glass sliding door until the sound literally penetrates a part of my sleeping brain that ensures I leap up to let them in. This goes on ALL night!
Yes, I am married to a man who lives in the same house.
Then my husband will get up at around 04.30am to get ready and leave for work by 05.00.
What makes me laugh (not really, I’m crying inside) is that he might get up once during all this going on to let the cats in/out. Otherwise, he sleeps the sleep of the dead!
So, anyway, like I was saying. Today is a write-off! I feel like a miserable zombie who is barely capable of going through the motions of being an adult. Thank goodness the girls were at school today.
This afternoon will consist of me fending them off with whatever it takes to keep them from being too demanding. This is likely to consist of sweets, cake, DVDs, iPad … And quite possibly anything else they ask for.
Today I suck at parenting!